When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, only about two miles away. And many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home. Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you." Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise." Martha said to him, "I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day." Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" She said to him, "Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world."
When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary secretly, saying, "The teacher is here and is asking for you." As soon as she heard this, she rose quickly and went to him. For Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still where Martha had met him. So when the Jews who were with her in the house comforting her saw Mary get up quickly and go out, they followed her, presuming that she was going to the tomb to weep there. When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said to him, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping, he became perturbed and deeply troubled, and said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Sir, come and see." And Jesus wept. So the Jews said, "See how he loved him." But some of them said, "Could not the one who opened the eyes of the blind man have done something so that this man would not have died?"
So Jesus, perturbed again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay across it. Jesus said, "Take away the stone." Martha, the dead man's sister, said to him, "Lord, by now there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days." Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?" So they took away the stone. And Jesus raised his eyes and said, "Father, I thank you for hearing me. I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me." And when he had said this, He cried out in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them, "Untie him and let him go."
Now many of the Jews who had come to Mary and seen what he had done began to believe in him.
- John 11:1-45
Everyone is familiar with story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. But most of the time, we focus on Jesus, Lazarus and the miraculous nature of what happened. How often do we think about the role of Martha and Mary? Imagine how they must have felt. Their brother is seriously ill, and one of their closest friends is someone who has been traveling around Galilee and Judea healing the sick. So they send a message and, as well all would, expect him to come help. But rather than immediately coming to Bethany, Jesus waits two days before even beginning the journey. Meanwhile, Lazarus dies and is laid in the tomb. How would you react once Jesus actually arrived?
At this point in the story, John presents us with two very different responses to grief. Martha comes out immediately and goes to Jesus. Although she is upset, she still places her faith in God and in the hope of the resurrection. Mary, on the other hand, refuses to go out to meet Jesus right away. Although it is not stated, you can tell that she is unhappy and perhaps even angry at Jesus. When she does finally come out to see him, she doesn’t hold back on her feelings and almost blames Jesus for Lazarus’s death. You can imagine that there were many more things Mary wanted to say to Jesus that she either kept to herself or went unrecorded by John.
We have all experienced these different reactions to grief. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, the ending of a relationship or the death of a dream, we all grieve for what we have lost. Most of us have been in Mary’s shoes where we are angry with God for something that has happened. We can’t see the reason behind what is happening and find it easier to blame God than to try to understand. This is a natural reaction and one that God expects. However, we must move beyond that anger and eventually arrive at a place of acceptance as Martha does. Only by accepting our grief and placing our trust in God, can we fully heal and fulfill God’s plan for us. So how do you do that? Pray, pray again and pray some more. Prayer is the greatest medicine for healing our souls that we have. Take some time these remaining weeks of Lent, and think about what losses you still have to accept. Then pray to God for His help.